where I stand

I am at one of my favorite parts of the Book of Mormon--in Alma (chapters 17-20) when Ammon goes among the Lamanites and serves and converts King Lamoni and his people. I love it because Ammon is so genuine in his love of the Lamanites, the gospel, and his desire to share it. He doesn't force his beliefs on King Lamoni, rather he serves him with love and true devotion which ends up being the key into sharing his belief in God and the Savior, Jesus Christ. Ammon is the kind of missionary I want to be--the kind of missionary I believe my daughter will be too. He truly LOVES the Lamanites and wants them to feel the happiness that the gospel brings, and he risks his life to bring it to them. Today, I feel so blessed. Many people have reached out to Corinne in preparing for her mission, and I am humbled by the generosity of their support. I know that God answers my prayers and performs daily miracles in my life. He is watchful, concerned, and aware of all that his children are going through. Last week, my mom called to tell me that her doctor suspects that she (my mom) has Lupus and Alopecia (in my mom's case, complete and sudden hair loss). I cried for my mom and for the trauma and the change of self confidence losing all of your hair would cause, and I cried about her having a disease with no cure. I felt pretty despondent and helpless that night, but I also felt the power of the comforter which I so desperately needed. I offered several prayers for my mom and for myself--that we would be able to accept this trial and face it with faith. On Friday, she left a message with Forrest while I was at work saying that the Lupus test came back negative! Such a blessing and a miracle for our family. I know the baldness is and will be hard for my mom--and for me as I so want to help her feel better--but there is something to be learned from this experience, and I want to make sure that I do learn. Life is not meant to be about riding along smoothly, it is about following a bumpy, unfamiliar, and twisty road leading back to our first home, but we don't ever travel this road alone. At times, we may be 4 wheeling in mud up to our windshield, but when we include the Savior, he cleans our view and wenches us out when we are stuck. We can spend our lives complaining about the journey, how rough it is, how it isn't fair, or we can recognize God's hand in guiding us where he wants and needs us to go and do, while exercising our faith in Him and believing in his power to help us succeed. I think most of us volley back and forth between these two reactions, but we don't have to. We can choose to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that someday we can and will understand. God either loves us, or he doesn't. What happens in life and our reactions to it shows what we believe about God's love. I know that he unconditionally loves us, and right now I understand much of what I have been through and why, which is a great place to be. But I didn't get here by accident; I know my position is the direct result of putting my faith and trust in God and his son Jesus Christ and opening my eyes to recognize and express gratitude for his hand in my life. I also know that the opportunity to understand also exists for ALL of his children. Do your part--believe in God's love for you.